IDAHOT

May 17 is the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia which commemorates the date on which the World Health Organization removed homosexuality from the Classification of Diseases in 1990. Local initiatives are undertaken around the world, including the IDAHOT Thailand: School Rainbows in Bangkok, organised by UNAIDS, APCOM, YVC and Youth Lead. Internationally, as part of IDAHOT's celebrations, people are encouraged to share their stories. This is mine.

My homosexual feelings began in primary school when I had a crush on our class captain, Paul. This was confirmed during my first year at an all boys school, but it wasn't until my final year that I ever expressed my sexual identity to anyone other than myself (my mother, on Mother's Day, but that's another story to tell). To the outside world, a person's coming out is a one time experience, because they only come out to you once. But really, it's a continual process, first to yourself, then to others, perhaps slowly or in one big go. But it continues every time you meet someone new. It happens with every new work colleague, every new acquaintance, and every niece or nephew who reaches a certain age when they release that Uncle Adam and Uncle Steve sleep in the same room.

Every time you come out, there is a risk, hopefully ever diminishing, that you will face awkwardness, disgust, rejection, discrimination or violence. There can also be no reaction at all, or happiness as closer connections are built. But most importantly, each time you come out, you affirm your own identity. You declare yourself as who you are as you express it to the person next to you or to the world at large. It's thanks to coming out that I'm a more confident person, that I've also been able to come out as a Linux geek, or as someone who thinks bacon is not the best meat ever. For someone who is relatively private and introverted, being gay has made me come out of my shell, and I am all the better for it.

I'm also lucky that I've grown up in an environment that has been extremely accepting of homosexuality. Decriminalisation of homosexuality, anti-discrimination laws, Will & Grace, Brokeback Mountain, Mardi Gras, and, most importantly, a family that treasures love and wellbeing over religion or social acceptance. That is not to say that I haven't encountered some homophobia in my life. One night in Canberra, my partner and I were holding hands in public, and a group of teens became following us, throwing rocks our way (but not at us). We walked faster and stopped at a bus stop, confronting them and calling the police. There are still places where I don't hold hands with my partner, where I walk a bit faster than I normally would. And I overhear people say fag, or poof, or 'it's just not right'.

It upsets me, but this is nothing compared to what others have experienced, particularly in the Global South. Social and workplace discrimination, denial of essential health services, physical violence, jail and death by stonings. It is unacceptable. I cannot imagine what gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people must feel in such environments. There is so much to be done to end homophobia, so much research, awareness raising, education, advocacy, and lobbying to be done. But it starts with speaking up, telling your story and taking a stance against homophobia and transphobia.

So that's my story. What is yours?

Mother's Day

In one of my first weeks in Bangkok, my partner and I were walking around Chatuchak Markets and, 'Que Sara Sara' played over the speakers over the homewares section. A wave of warmth and nostalgia washed over me. I was tired in all the heat, humidity and crowds, as we unsuccessfully searched for a red ceramic bowl for our house. But all of that faded away as the melody to one of my favourite songs swelled in my ears. It's a song full of memories for me.

I think it is such a beautifully written song because it captures both the romantic yearning for a happy future and the stoic acceptance that what happens in the future may simply be beyond our control. It neither dampens nor amplifies our dreams, merely realistically accepting the ambiguities at play. Something that generations continually teach the next.

It's also a song that has been used to chilling effect. Exhibit A: this emotionally brutal advertisement from the Thai Life Insurance Company:

It's also frequently used in cinema, such as in Mary & Max, In the Cut, and the one that started it all, Hitchcock's The Man Who Knew Too Much:

Here, Doris Day sings the song at the ambassador's house, in the hope that her kidnapped son hears the song and somehow responds. That crack in her voice when she sings "now I have children of my own ..." gets me every time.

It's that endless and timeless connection between mother and child that resonates the most with me. Probably because it's also one of my mother's favourite songs, and I can still hear her in my head, whistling the tune while she's cooking or while she's moving around the house. It's a song that brings me back to my childhood, a time when my mum, and her resilience in bringing up 3 children on her own in a foreign country, was so crucial for our family. It's a reminder of how much our mother's experience, wisdom and love comfort us as children, readying us for the world ahead. It's a reminder of the most important woman in my life, and how much I love her. Happy Mother's Day.

Pocahontas

I have vague memories of watching Pocahontas at the cinemas with my sisters, but beyond Colors of the Wind (which I sang under duress as part of a school choir), nothing stuck particularly in my mind. So I was excited to view this film anew with new eyes as part of The Film Experience's fabulous Hit Me With Your Best Shot series. Unfortunately, I found the film just as unspectacular. I found the film traded in obvious tropes without being particularly entertaining, and none of the characters were very complex or interesting.

The score and cinematography sure was lush and beautiful though. Colors of the Wind remains as wonderful as ever, and there were no shortage of frameable shots. For me though, the best shots are those loaded with extra meaning beyond beauty, imagery within the image, and in this regard there was a clear winner for me: 

This is one of the least busy and textured images in the film, but it is also one that captures what the film gets the most right: Pocahontas' determination and will. Her most valuable skill is not her beauty, curiosity or ability to pick up a foreign language in 2 days. Rather, it is her desire to run and forge her own path that powers her. And in this shot, in this moment, she is only running but not merely running - she's becoming a force of nature in her own right, her shadow self as strong and fast as an eagle. Her steely determination to put herself to do what she thinks is right and to stand up for her love is as dangerous and powerful as any of the weapons the men around her wield, and her pacifism leads to peace between the two cultures (as the film leads us to believe). It's the most powerful she's ever been in the film.

Less Impact Men.

It's been a big week for the environment, with Earth Hour last weekend, the International Panel on Climate Change releasing its latest report and policy summary, and the International Court of Justice ruling in Australia's favour and ordering that the Japanese Government cease its scientific whaling scheme because it breached the International Convention for the Regulation on Whaling by not being carried out for a scientific purpose (summary here). I've been recently writing ICJ case summaries for the online resource A38, and in particular environmental cases like the Case concerning pulp mills on River Uruguay and the Case concerning the Gabcikovo-Nagymaros Project. To me, the ICJ has always been reluctant to make major findings against countries, so this is the first time in the environmental context that it has so emphatically declared and ordered injunctions against a country. It's so invigorating to see such outcomes!*

Given this, I thought I'd begin doing my own bit for the environment, starting with publishing this post on No Impact Man, the documentary I watched recently at the Social Change Film Festival. This documentary follows one year in the life Colin Beavan and his young family as they try to lead a carbon neutral life in New York City. Each month they alter something out of their lives to reduce their carbon pollution - transportation, food, electricity, cleaning products.

Like Money & Life, the other documentary I watched at the festival, it was pretty inspiring seeing Colin (and especially his hesitant wife, Michelle) challenge themselves and adapt to a better way of living. They persevered in the spirit of 'let's just give it a go', and if certain things did not work out (like replacing their fridge with a naturally cooling, sand-lined pot), then they could go back. Unsurprisingly, despite some resistance from his wife at first, she enjoyed so many of the changes over the year that what started as an experiment became a lasting way of life.

Can't Stop The Music

This is my second contribution to the Film Experience's excellent Hit Me With Your Best Shot series, and from the highs of eternal sunshine, we sink to the dark and sweaty strobe lights of the discotheque that is Can't Stop The Music.

Growing up in Australia in the 1990's, my first encounter with this film came on New Years Day, since one of our television stations broadcasts the film as a post NYE celebration tradition.  So in the wee hours of the next morning (which is really noon on New Years Day), high on fireworks and optimism, I was quite receptive to the film's excesses. And, like the bulges contained within the shorts on display, my sexuality was burgeoning in time with the music. Who was I to resist short shorts?